this you’ve been 

putting off far too long 

not a task but an answer 

to the question

of your masculinity 

how many books 

have you read? 

how many push ups? 

How many 

lacerations and flagellations?

and the fear of a boy

remains in you.

when will you answer 

the knocks 

of Calamity 

and his treacherous 

twin The Unfortunate? 

for they have come to 

answer the eternal 

riddle of why 

manhood evades you

Calamity gives 

wings and balls 

of gold 

but only

to those who open

the door

and The Unfortunate 

molds a man 

with harrowing blows

but you still think 

there’s another way

one more book

to digest 

one more 

prayer to sacrifice 

your son is coming 

of age 

and you, 

you still hold 

on to the things 

of your youth

oh you delicate creature!

will you wait for God 

to unlock the door 

to your heart 

or magically 

drop the scrotum?

to grow is to die 

and to be a man

is to die thrice over…

a breath, 

a conviction, 

a hard swallow,

a defiant turn, 

an opening, 

and finally,

a falling, 

the rare ascent

into manhood…